luizart

Dear Bo,

It took ten years in prison for me to begin to understand how people face life. And it has taken two years beyond my release to understand that those incarcerated are not the only ones susceptible to this way of thinking.

Most of us seem to face life in one of three ways: escape, reality, endure reality, or embrace reality.

I've known the guys who refuse to wake up and face their environment, face themselves or face the big picture. Daily they lose themselves in card games, TV, radio or tall tales. They escape reality.

I've known the guys who seem to have a more active role in prison life, but they are always complaining. The food is lousy. Their detail stinks. Inspections are too long. Yard calls are too short. They are miserable and make sure everyone within earshot shares the misery. They endure reality. They are the guys you hope don't share a chow hall table with you; the guys you hope don't get assigned to the same detail you have; the guys you hope the captain of your yard-ball team doesn't pick, no matter how good they are.

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And, finally, I've known the rare few who, at first glance, seem to be a bit off. You may even think they enjoy being in prison. They speak. They smile. They don't have to put others down in order to feel good about themselves. Rarely do you hear them complain. They embrace reality. Not that its all good, or all right. But they seem to have a way of squeezing some good out of the worst situations. They seem to realize that life is a gift and each day comes but once.

As I said, I became aware of these ways of relating to the world while I was in prison, but now that I have my physical freedom, I see that inmates are not the only ones who relate to life in these three ways. The tactics may be different, but the over all philosophy is the same.

Escape - whether it's cards, television, headphones, tall tales, or drugs, work, [food], sex, ______ (fill in the blank), it still can be considered escape.

Endure - whether it s food, the detail, inspections, yard call, or whether it s home life, a job, a bad relationship,_____ (again, what might yours be?), it is still only endured.

Embrace - living in the moment, finding the silver lining, getting the most out of every day and giving the best to that day.

I choose to embrace. I didn't enjoy prison, and, quite frankly, freedom with a prison record can be overwhelming at times. But I refuse to escape. I refuse to simply endure. I'm alive, and I plan to make the most of life. I've finally learned that when all the choices of life seem to be out of reach, I can still choose how I will respond. That choice can't be taken away.

I hope this is worth reading by others. S

Reprinted with kind permission from
The Human Kindness Foundation
Spring 2003 Newsletter
www.humankindness.org